Take some vegetables, doesn’t matter exactly, maybe Florets of Cauliflower; Some Carrots; Potatoes; Whole Onions.
OR
About a kilo of dead animal it doesn’t matter which kind
OR
Something else.
Then, pop it in the oven and put the oven on 180°
Now, go and relax! Might I suggest —
- vagueing out
- beat-boxing
- sleeping
- daydreaming
- talking to yourself
- wandering around the house naked
Then, when you hear the oven buzzer go off after 45 mins, think to yourself, oh, i wonder what that is, or, oh i wonder what the neighbours buzzer is going off for.
Return to whatever you were doing.
Then, when you smell something burning, quickly leap up and say a swear word — <insert swear word of choice here>!
Plate up and use lettuce leaves to hide burnt bits. You might need to cover the whole plate. It’s alright, it adds greenery. Very Healthy!
Send a text or shout DINNER’S READY KIDS!
“oh mum srsly you burnt dinner again”
“mmm charcoal, our favourite”
And marvel at the fact that hungry teenagers will eat anything.
wannabe poet 