The Kids’ Favourite Recipe

family, poetry
  1. Take some vegetables, doesn’t matter exactly, maybe Florets of Cauliflower; Some Carrots; Potatoes; Whole Onions. 

OR

Anything really it doesn’t matter

OR

Something else

2. Pop it in the oven and put the oven on 180° set buzzer for 45mins

3. Now, go and relax! Might I suggest —

  • spacing out
  • beat-boxing
  • sleeping
  • daydreaming
  • talking to yourself

Then, when you hear the oven buzzer go off after 45 mins, think to yourself, oh, i wonder what that is, or, oh i wonder what the neighbours buzzer is going off for. 

Return to whatever you were doing.

4. Then, when you smell something burning, quickly leap up and say a swear word — <insert your choice here>!

5. Plate up and use lettuce leaves to hide burnt bits. You might need to cover the whole plate. It’s alright, it adds greenery. Very Healthy! 

6. Send a text or shout  DINNER’S READY!

“srsly you burnt dinner again” 

“mmm charcoal, our favourite”

And marvel at the fact that hungry teenagers will eat anything. 

[Updated 3rd May 2024]

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